Zoss and the Beanshaft

Not so long ago, in the swamps of Draconia, lived a young lizard named Zoss. Now Zoss was a good young lizard who always obeyed his mother and his teacher Master Nevros, his only shortcoming was that he was insufferably curious (and had a rather large tail for his age, but thats another story).

One day his mother called him to her "Zoss, here is a few gold soveriegns, I want you go to sorcery shop and buy me a few ingrediants for a new spell. Now don't dawdle, and don't stop to talk to any of the young ruffians along the way, just go and come straight back."

It was a fine day and Zoss was glad to venture into the city proper as he so enjoyed the people milling about the city hawking there wares. He approached the city gates and wiped off the muck of the swamp, wishing to look somewhat presentable, just than his uncle Quinlat stepped out of the guardhouse and waved him over. "Ahh Zoss" he said "and where might my faveourite nephew be off to on such a find day?" "To get some supplies from the sorcery shop for Mother" Zoss replied with a smile. Quinlat was a captain with the guard and a great swordsman, who was Zoss's favaourite uncle, because he never brought him ice cream as his frinds uncle's did, and filled his head with many a tale of the wonders of the realm.

"Well ok, just make sure don't go through the alley to get there, a bad sort hang out there, and I don't want them filling your head with silly notions." "Yes sir!" came the reply, and with a laugh and a wave Zoss lumbered off towards the sorcery shop. As he strolled the street marvelling at the temple of Elok and the many learned scholars who came to debate there, he became even more entranced by the merchants who sold all manner of goods, common and magical. Zoss was immensely curious and awed by magic, and always anxious to see anything magical that he could. Well the time passed quickly as he made his way around inspecting the various magic trinkets for sale till finally making his way to Corinth's shop "All Thing's Magickal".

Zoss walked around inspecting the many wonderous items, mouth agape and young eye's filled with wonder, while Corinth looked on smiling and chuckling from time to time as he answered the ceaseless questions from the young lizard. "Zoss, it's almost time for me to close up, so I have to ask you to run along, after you wipe the slobber off the mage mashing mace for me please." "Zoinks!" Zoss yelped "I didn't realize is was so late, I must run and fetch mothers supplies, she will be most cross." "Well you best hurry, the sorcery shop will be closed soon as well".

Zoss lurched along the street as fast as his stumpy legs could take him. Realizing he would never make it in time by taking the long way, he thought "Hmm, well uncle Quinlat and mother said not to go through the alley, but I don't think it would really hurt just this once. But as uncle Quinlat always say's Those are famous last words', or was it It's all fun and games till someone loses and eye...or get's pregnant.'" He looked around nervously "Oh well, what harm can really come of it" and proceeded through the pub into the alley taking the shortcut.

As he stepped into the alley he saw a few young tough's leaning against the wall, smoking and drinking and doing all the things that make young toughs, well...young toughs. "Hey Zoss, we never see you back here, what brings you here now?" After allowing his eye's to focus to the shadows he recognized several of them, the one who spoke being Orchist, an orc apprentice to one of the mages of the city, and a young drow apprentice named Apocalypse.

Zoss wouldn't normally associate with these kids, but seeing as they were apprenticed to mages, they sometimes would mysteriously "find" magical items with which they would sell to help pay for their apprenticeships. "I'm just picking up a few ingrediants for Mother from the shop, working on a new spell of some sort." "Ahh yes, magic is fascinating, isn't it Zoss?" Orchist supplied smoothly. Zoss nodded his agreement and was about to step into the shop when Apocalypse spoke up "Zoss, this is your lucky day, it just so happens that we have some magical "beanshaft" seeds." "Beanshaft seeds? What do they do?" he asked trying to keep the eagerness out of his voice. "Well they only work for virile young lizards, like yourself" he said trying to hide his smirk. "In the labyrinthe of the dark trolls is a mighty river, of which it is rumoured that great magic and wealth lie upon the other side, but none have found a way to cross it. Untill now."

"Well if that is the case" Zoss said "why do you not go yourself and use them?" "As I said, only virile young lizards can use them, I did not create them, merely...found them" the drow said, a slight tone of amusement in his voice, while Orchist snickered softly. "How do they work?" the now awestruck lizard asked. "Simple, take one to the riverbank and lay it in the sand, and it will grow to ten times the size of...ahem, well I did mention you must be a virile young lizard?"

"How much for such a seed, I must have one, mother would be so happy to see me return with such treasure, not to mention how impressed the ladies of the swamp would be with such a monument to myself." he said puffing out his chest.

"How much money do you have?" Orchist asked. "Only a few gold, I'm afraid" he sighed, " my lessons from Master Nevros are very expensive." "Ahh yes" Orchist sighed in agreement "if only Grud were a kinder gentler god, he would force our masters to not charge so much. Anyway, give us what you have and that shall suffice, good luck!" The two youths walked away chuckling and Zoss could have swore he heard them mutter something about "lucky to get a beanshaft the size of a toothpick".

With a head full of visions of magic and treaure and his fears forgotten Zoss proceeded to where the trolls lived. As he came to ledges one must scale to enter the troll caves proper, he chanced upon the warlock Zurn and his apprentice Alysse as well as the renowned (and somewhat cantakerous) monk, Mistral Arcane. "Ah hello Zoss." Zurn and Alysse chimed. "What brings you such dangerous pathways? Does Nevros know you're here?" Zurn asked. Zoss shook his head "No, he does not and please don't tell him for he would scold me furiously for being here." He than proceeded to relate the story of the magical beanshaft stone, upon ending his tale Zurn asked "May I see the stone?", Zoss nodded and handed the stone to Zurn. The warlock muttered an incantation and spoke an incantation over the stone, his eyebrow lifted slightly, "It is indeed magical, and I have never seen it's like, I would be very curious to see the rock function." "So, would I..." Alysse purred giving Zoss the once over."Bah! Yer daft, ye got rocks for brains lizard." Mistral grumbled.

So they went, deep into the treacherous trolls, the small party facing untold dangers, till finally battling their way to the river and free of the evil beasties that called the foul place home. "That looks like a good spot, put the stone there and than focus your will upon it." Zurn said. "But what image must I focus upon?" Zoss asked, somewhat confused. "Ahh well...umm" Zurn looked at the two women and blushed slightly, he leaned over and whispered something to Zoss they couldn't quite make out. "Oh my...are you certain?" Zoss asked, mouth agape. Zurn merely nodded and tried to ignore the women.

Zoss placed the small stone on the river bank. "Step back everyone, there's no telling what may happen" he cautioned. He than closed his eye's and an extreme look of concentration came over his face, marred only by a slight toothy grin he couldn't seem to remove. Than all of a sudden the very earth began to shake, bits of stone and shale falling from the cavern ceiling, the stalactites quivering, and a stone formation began to rise very rapidly from where the stone had been placed. Almost as soon as it had begun the tremor's ceased and Zoss heard gasps of wonder from behind him and he opened his eye's to behold what he had wrought.

Before anyone could speak, a brilliant flash of light occured and before them stood a dark troll shaman of what appeared to be considerable power. Zurn immeditely began an incantation, but the shaman motioned him to stop "Hold your spell warlock! I have no quarrel with you or your compatriots. I have merely come to see who has such power as to raise this thing." "I have" Zoss stated trying to look as brave as possible, "we have come to claim the wealth which lies upon the other side of this river." "Indeed, I have no wish to quarrel with one who would raise so mighty a structure, this...this colossal vertical shaft! I shall bring you treasure, I just ask that you not raise more such structures and destroy our home completely." "We are not without heart shaman, bring us what we ask and we shall leave you in peace. However, you must promise that no troll shall raise a hand against this beanshaft for as long as this place remains." "You have my oath" the shaman said "in fact this colossal vertical shaft, shall serve us of a reminder of your prowess...er power." "Boy, I'll say" mumbled Alysse, eye's still wide. "Bah, it ain't so big" Mistral growled. "Hmmm, methinks I detect some shaft envy" Zoss said softly with smile.

So the small party loaded up with sacks of treasure made their way back to town, where the story was told, and would be told again and again, untill the colossal vertical shaft in the troll caves was known by all. Zoss had a lot of fun with the women of the city untill he took his vows for the priesthood, but still stops by once in a while to gaze in wild wonder at his beanshaft, or as it more widely known, the colossal vertical shaft.

The moral of the story? Perhaps there really isn't one, but if there is, it must be the old adage used by lizardmen everywhere (and their women) "Go big or go home!"